CAMP

i wrote this blog on sunday, but wasnt bothered enough to post it or finish it, so enjoy whatevers there :D

Camp was good. Not great not bad. It was weird waking up in the morning to see you, and going to sleep kissing you goodbye. A lot of the things I always wanted to do with you I did at camp, and it felt awesome. But it wasn’t all smiles and laughter, there were tears, fights and tantrums but after a while, we all got over it.

You see a different side to people at camp. People saw the pissy, moody, indecisive , bitchy, egoistic and annoying side of me which I kept hidden at school. Those I thought were nice turned out to be dickheads, and those supposed ‘dickeheads’ were actually extremely nice and those I never said a word to, I spoke to a lot and got to know.
Well here’s a diary of the events that occur. Day by day, event by event, kiss by kiss.

Day 1
We got on the bus and my activity group (minus may lyn, Patrick and justin and plus jayson) sat at the back of the bus taking luvos and laughing our heads off. On the first half of the bus I sat with lauren but then after hearing javery’s whining lauren told me that it was ok to go sit next to him for the rest of the trip. As we went and sat at the back, the rest pleaded for us to baracade ourselves from the rest as to not see what we got up to ;) lol. Well it got kinda hot and I ended up changing in the back seat where jayson and barrahona saw me changing :$ when we got off the bus we realized that we had no reception :O:O:O:O so lauren had died already lol. We walked for a bit and when we saw our cabins we all DIED. They looked like freaking chicken sheds from the outside and when we went in, they WERE freaking chicken sheds. They were planks of wood joined together where we put mattresses on top of. There were no power points inside them and the light was so dim, angela’s pointer laser let us see more. Oh wells the nights were fun but that will come on later. So after a brief unpacking we went to the dining hall to eat, we had chicken burgers which ben l. ended spilling all over the place and my activity group copped the shit for it = =”. After that we had four activities but “team initiatives, damper making, basic canoeing and basic navigation” I think damper making was the best cause my group made a penis shaped one which the leaders thought was pretty funny and luckily ms eun didn’t see ^^ canoeing was good as well and everybody got freaking wet as cause of all the splashing and me and javery ended up capsizing ab and shafi, but that’s a secret lol. I got really wet and mr. watts would onlt let the guys go and get changed cause their cabins were close so javery got me his basket ball outfit to where for the rest of the day which was comfy ^^, we had another navigation skills after that which was gay but we got through it. After that we got free time in which we unpacked some more and tried on dresses. Angela and jane both were one of my dresses but ended up changing before dinner. For dinner my group had to serve for the shit we copped for making the apparent mess and we served spag bol which was made out of babies from laurens description. Hehe. I wore my orange and black butterfly dress which looked really stupid on everyone else but they say it looked good on me ;) that night the activity was to walk around all the fields in the dark and find some people. I dunno who we were spose to find cause me and javery kinda wasn’t looking but we accidentally stumbled across “nemo” it was fun cause I crossed two things of the list I always wanted to do with you. Chase each other around and dance in the dark. Our team split up and we lost but meh, it was worth it being with you. After that we kissed good night and went to our cabins to “sleep” lol. Well me and Rachel stayed awake the longest feeding each other the whipped cream lauren brought. We fell asleep at like 1ish but then woke up at 4ish to watch the sunrise which it didn’t til like 5.30. by then we’d woken up rosa, jane nguyen and jane le and we all sat outside in me and rach’s blankets to watch the sunrise. That was the end of the first day and night.

Day 2
Started at 4 oclock like I said before. Me, rach and jane le went around to the guys cabins at 6 oclock to say good morning. I feel sorry for them cause they had to wake up to my high pitched “good morning sunshines” first thing although some were already awake. Like mattie p who quoted “I’ll take you for a ride shane” just before we got to his cabin :L well we had brushed our teeth and hair so they didn’t wake up to a terrible sight lol. We had breakfast after that and ms. Hewett forced me to eat – a piece of toast with honey, it was arite I guess. My group served again and then we cleaned up afterwards with careful warning to ben l and his group to keep the shit off the freaking floor. Well after breakkie we creating connections which was arite but we finished really early so we played a game where we had to sit on each other in a circle which is a lot harder than you think :L Jayson got really sweaty so I gave him one of my shirts and he gave me his and I wore that for the rest of the activities. After that my group did abseiling first which was arite I guess. But we finished really late cause a certain someone *cough*Thomas*cough* took half an hour going down a freaking ten metre rock cliff lol,tho it was really cute how scared he got :L:L:L The harnesses hurt my groin area a lot tho, but I cant imagine what the guys went through ouch :S after abseiling we had high ropes which was fu n and scary and I bum shuffled my way across one bit cause I got scared (Y) those off us who weren’t going on it just sat and talked and played tic tac toe. We had lunch after wards which was beef burgers and that was yum, I finished the whole thing and got seconds but couldn’t finish it :L we went to rock climbing after that which was heaps fun but hard work as well. The guide guy gave javery shit for the hickie on his neck and going out with me :L I didn’t mention the ride to the rock climbing place. They took up on a freaking wrecked van where the door freaking flies open while we were going there and the whole thing vibrated and rattled and it was like a freaking roller coaster without the seatbelts. Anywhoos, I was talking about the rock climbing, rachels pants literally fell off but it was good cause she was wearing high tops otherwise we wudve have some problems lol. Me and jeff got left hanging during rock climbing by our team :( but it hurt more for him cause he had balls lol and lauren was left hanging upside down which was funny as well. After a bit it started pouring so me, lauren and rach span around on the spot until we almost puked then headed back to go do archery and flying fox. We only did archery tho cause it was to wet to do flying fox. Thomas was the first one to get anything other than white (blue) and was like “hell yeah (H)” then javery got blue and they shared the title and then I came up and got two red ones and was like “damn straight (H)(Y)” and owned them both. I hit the showers after that and it felt real good to have hot water. We were having a bbq that night and lizzie organized for all of us to wear dresses which we did. I had a bit of spare time on my hands before dinner so I straightened a few peoples hair. Angela’s at first, then Oscars which didn’t really work cause it was wet then Michael rutherfords which was mad man cause it was all freaking curls and then went full straight. I got cold in my dress so I javery gave me his hoodie which covered my whole dress anyway :L in the bbq it was corn on a cob for starters then hot dogs for main which I got first cause I sneaked out when I threw away my rubbish and for dessert I we had jelly with whipped cream and I got two jelly’s and THREE servings of whipped cream cause I asked nicely :) this time the night time activity was sock hockey and I scored a goal (H) the funniest tho man was jeff when he freaking crashed into the goals and knocked them over LOL. Rachel was hilarious as well cause she didn’t even have time to pick up the stick and fell straight on her ass by the time the other person had scored. Carney vs. Cody was really funny as well and Cody scored so we gave Carney a lot of shit for it lol. That was an eventful night outside the arena with tears but I wont mention names. We had hot chocolate afterwards and javery spilled it on himself and went to the toilet with me and we walked out together and cody saw us and for the first time when we were telling the truth we got into trouble :( oh wells, least I was telling the truth. That night wasn’t that eventful cause there was no sneaking out or early mornings but it was fun all the same.

Day 3
This morning started off at 7 with me in a really pissed off mood, and to make matters worse I got serving duty which I wasn’t spose to and copped shit for pradeepti’s cabin tho I don’t hold grudges cause I got first dibs on dinner :) the day ahead was sure to be eventful cause we had a 6 km hike and 4 km canoe and for the hiking we had to navigate our way through the woods to get our lunch which convinced my group that we wudnt be getting any lunch lol. We had a few slips, cuts and bites but came out of it alive and at the right spot for lunch :L I had two serves of lunch to get me ready for the 4 km canoe ahead. I was with javery, angela with jeff, shae and lauren were together, Thomas was with barra and Rachel and jayson ended up together. Before we could even get 50 metres Thomas and barra got into the reeds and were stuck. It was pretty funny. This time tho not a lot of us got wet during the canoe ride cause splashing was strictly forbidden eventho Cody and Hackett drenched Thomas and barra who were stupid enough to bring their ipod along for the ride = =” along the way we got an apple and started chucking that around which was harder than it looks. Javery stole jaysons paddle half way through which meant that rach and jayson ended in the reeds for a bit as well and for revenge rach hit javery at the back of the head with her paddle :L at one point shae, lauren, jeff and angela all were in the reeds as well, me and javery were the only one out of them that didn’t end up in there cause we’re so pro (H)(Y) I spent two hours just talking and paddling with the guy I love and that was another thing off my list. Our group got there an our early so we got free time in the creek where we capsized each other which was heaps fun. While I was drying myself off Thomas was watching and he said that I jiggled, which I do but way to make me feel better bout my self :( After all of us hit the showers we had another 2 hours of free time which I don’t remember much of cause me and javery killed it in his cabin with jayson on the top bunk as a look out. Gosh man, the things me and jayson do for each other :L Anywhoos, after a while it got to risky with javery’s friends randomly coming in and looking through the window ==” so we left. We went around walking and sat and talked and talked and talked and then he left to play footy and I went to take luvos with my group and jayson was photographer. Before we knew it, it was dinner time, the last dinner at camp and it was rice. After three whole days, I was eating rice with chicken, gravy, bread and boiled veggies. Dinner wasn’t so eventful but still enjoyable, the last dinner together.




thanks for reading, i cudnt be stuffed putting photos or anything on, so if you want to see photos and videos go to rosa's blog

rant

there used to be a rant here, but then i took it off cause it was mean :)

got my freaking net back

i dunno what to say anymore
it just doesnt flow like it used to
i have so many thoughts in my head, but i just cant put pen to paper
its cause its been so damn long that the flows just stopped
but i'll try my best :]




Lauren was right. You think at a couple of month that your love is super strong and all that, but the months to come, oh boy does your love become stronger and ALL THAT


How can I plan on forever when I wasn’t planning on you?


I’d climb every mountain just cause it was there, I’d swim to the ends of the earth just to prove that there is no end, I’d walk the highest dune just to find one that’s higher, and I’ll love you with all my heart just to let you know that you mean the world to me


I’ve found the guy that calls me beautiful not hot, the one that kisses my forehead not lips.


Whenever we kiss goodbye and walk off in opposite directions, I turn around to watch you walk away. To make sure that you are actually there and I didn’t dream that last kiss. I cant even leave you without kissing you twice, I dunno why but it’s a reflex now.


Perfection is everyones own opinion. What they see through their eyes. That’s why to me, you are perfect.


Being in love means you want to spend forever with them, and right now I don’t know if I really want to.


If you do it, you should be able to take it.


Whats a good or bad girlfriend? Is there a standard to live upto or a test to pass, cause at the moment I feel as though I’m terribly failing


It doesn’t kill to tell the truth, unless you’re the one secretly smoking.



Do not dwell on dreams and forget the world around. That’s the biggest mistake people make, leaving behind their futures.


Theres no point in pretending that forever is possible, that’s why I’m so blunt


I know that I’m not gonna be your “one and only” and it doesn’t crush me. It’s a fact that I’ve accepted from the very beginning. Cause even if its another chick that makes you happy, I don’t mind cause u being happy is the only thing that matter to me


For chicks, to get a guy jealous, its satisfaction. It feeds our egos


You’ve become a better person, you do everything I want, theres not a single flaw, and that’s what scares me. I don’t want something perfect, I like the bumps along the road, the times we stumble cause without them it would be just plain boring.


It’s hard to love you as much as before cause there are so many things changing. As harsh as it may sound, you aren’t the same person I fell in love with. Yes I’m still in love with you, its just that…


There’s this haunting voice in my head telling me to leave you cause it’ll happen again


Its easy to pack your bags and leave, but to stay and fight your battle, is the right thing to do


I thought I was looking for love, but I was actually looking for you


Hooking up – once you get a taste, theres no going back


I’ve realized that i don’t love you. I’m madly, deeply, crazily and totally in love with you.


I never expected love to come when it did, nor the way in which it came and unlike some people. I wasn’t waiting for it to come round. But then love found me, You found me. Love came straight at me, knocked me to the ground, made me blind and chucked me into the air. But when I fell, I fell into your arms. You softened my landing and made those dreaded seconds which I was falling worthwhile. That’s why I’m glad love found me, because I get to spend everyday with you, in your arms.


I need you
I need you to hold me
I need you to wipe away my tears
I need you to kiss me
But most importantly I need you to love me, because I love you. I love you more than anyone could ever contemplate


There’s always a reason for two people to come together, to stay together and last forever. They give each other something that no one else can and that’s what makes it magical.


Theres this little voice in my head, a dreaded thump in my chest telling me that you don’t love me, that you don’t want to be with me. It’s telling me that this is all an act for a bigger picture, that tomorrow you’ll come clean and tell me that I was just a stepping stone for another girl. I’m afraid you’ll wake up one morning and the feelings you have for me will disappear. I’m scared of losing you because I’ve never put this much effort into anything before, I’ve never taken a bigger risk. Everyday I’m with you, my heart is on line, but I’m hoping, wishing, that each morning you’ll wake up and still want me as a part of your life


Its amazing what colour can make us feel
We play in it
Fall into it
and wonder which it’ll be
we envy it
we change it and wonder where it went
it divides us and it unites us
yet the ironic thing is that a world of black and white would be just as intriguing, magical and mesmerizing



Jealousy. The most spiteful of all emotions. It tears friends and lovers apart. But whats the difference between jealousy and envy? Is there a difference? Then why is envy conveyed as a healthy emotion and jealousy a selfish habit? I don’t get jealous often, pissed and worried yes very often, but jealousy isn’t something that effects me much. Even with the numerous girls you hang with, chat with and are best buds with, I really wudnt mind if you went on about them while I was in you arms, or if you spent the whole day with them, so long as at the end of the day we’re together and I’m the girl you kiss on the forhead


You know, I’ve stopped crying as much. I don’t cry any more when I watch finding nemo or read peoples blogs. I don’t even cry when I see all those crime shows on tv anymore. I’m over all that shit now cause I really couldn’t care less about whats going on in others lives or in these fictional stories without a point. I’m saving my tears, because I know that some time soon, there will be a reason in MY life where I’ll need to bawl my eyes out.


I look at you from a distance and I see you laughing, talking, playing and sometimes just sitting there and I could just stand there all day watching you with a grin plastered onto my face wondering how I’m so lucky to have found you. Some one so hot, fun, nice, athletic, basically perfect, yet you choose to be with me. With my millions of flaws, how could someone as perfect as you, be with some one like me?


When you compliment me and I only say “thank you”, its because I’m speechless. You’re so gorgeous that it overcomes me. I cant bring myself to say anything because you’re worth so much more than any words could express. And all the things in my head that I could say don’t come out because there’s so many that the clog up at the tip of my tongue. One day I’ll write down everything about you that was in my head, but for now, since I’m not to great with all that corny shit, whenever I say “I love you”, take that as the biggest possible compliment.


The weirdest thought came into my head the other day, it was the memories of our msgs. The millions of texts and the phone calls that went on for hours. Those days seem like a lifetime ago because now I’m with someone else. I thought that there memories would hurt, but they don’t. They’ve shaped me into the person that I am today and for that I’m thankful cause I love my life/self at the moment :D


I’m over it. If you feel awkward, then that’s your problem, I don’t mind what you do with her anymore. I’ve realized and accepted that yous are going to be friends and I’m completely cool with it. Honestly


I’ve never actually heard you say those six words to me. You’ve written them, said it over msn and answered yes when I asked you, but when you actually said them, it just put me into a fluster


As Yoda would say: Do or do not, there is no try


Theres this guy I’m totally and madly in love with
I dunno what I’d do without him
Without him i’m literally nothing
And living would become pointless


I dunno how to tell him I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone
I dunno how I’d cope if we weren’t together
I dunno if I should tell him “I love you” over and over again
I dunno if he finds me clingy
I dunno what to do with myself anymore cause I only ever think about him
I dunno why I love him so much
I dunno why I did, what I chose to do
I dunno who else to turn to when the rest of my world is collapsing
I dunno what I’d do with you, without your love


According to a recent study, two out of five men have a gene that makes them more likely to cheat. Those men have an abnormal reaction to vasopressin, a hormone that helps people bond with one another. Watch out ladies


You remind me of a poem I cant remember, a song that probably doesn’t exist and a place I’ve never been too, yet when you’re around I get that warm fuzzy feeling, I’m in love


Is sorry really ever good enough? All it is, is a five letter word and without actions, its pretty much pointless. But I can tell from the grin on your face that you love my pathetic (but sincere) apologies and me for groveling for your forgiveness

for the people that really matter

You know, friends are probably the most important people in your life, next to family, but lately I’ve been a complete bitch and not appreciated, acknowledged, supported or cared for the most significant people of my life. What worse is that it was one of their birthday and I lacked the common sense and heart to even spend recess with her. Call me a dog, bitch, whore, whatever you want, but I probably deserve it. Well now to even begin my apology here’s a blog about each member of my group :) It might not be much but it’s a start (alphabetical order)

Angela: where to even begin with this girl is hard. I didn’t really know her at the beginning of this year, but being in every single one of my classes, (except major) I’ve grown to know her and become so close to her that we practically finish each others sentences. She’s been there for me when I needed her, given me a shoulder to cry on, and what more could you want from a best friend :)

Amanda: she might not look like it, but this girl is so freaking in your face and hardcore that it scares me :L. She’s helped me through tough times even when she was dealing with problems of her own, she’s always made time to listen to me even when I didn’t feel like talking. It’s hard to think that someone I once barely knew or liked, could help me through life the way she has

Emma: this girl man, when I was down she ninja roll/summersault kicked up my hopes and put a smile on my face. She’ll tell me about her love life and I’ll tell her about mine. The stories we exchanged and the pictures that came into my head I’ll never forget. She knows everything without me telling her which makes me think she can read my mind.

Jess: oh boy, you mess with her she’ll kick your balls or hurt you in some way which you will never forget. She’s always got my back threatening to kick, kill, punch, whatever damage I want done :D. She’ll be there for me no matter what, and IPT has brought us closer. She’s seen me at my worst in the mornings when she like lived at my house and goes to North Shore Tutor cause of it, but she still chooses to be my friend.

Lauren: wow is the only word that comes to mind when I think of her. She’s been through the roughest of times and just comes out stronger. The advice she gives is priceless even though I don’t listen to all/any of it. She was always by my side. She was there for me to cry into during digital media even if it her back to crouch under the table. Most of the stuff that comes out of her mouth will make you crack up, even if the jokes are about me. I can’t imagine school without hearing “shut up chickie” come from her mouth.

Rachel: our boob measurements will be a price less moment and I really don’t think I could bare with maths if it wasn’t for her. Two years of being in the same maths class and I still aint sick of her. Our exchange of truths and dares still make me smile when I think about it. I think we know a couple of more measurements besides the ones of our boobs :L I’ve never seen this girl without a smile on her face and I hope that I wont for a while to come. This awesomely hot bitch has always listened to my squealing and tantrums and I hope that she will continue to.

Rosa: ms. Rosie is probably the most unique person I know. She’s been with me since day one and I will never forget that. No matter what, she will be smiling and laughing and turning everything and anything into a happy situation. I have yet to see her fail to put a smile on my face and she will be there to support me and let me cry on her even if she has no idea whats going on with me. I will never forget year 7 & 8 with you and I wish things could go back to that way.

Shailin: last but not least. I owe her so much for being there for me. She stood in the pouring rain just to watch me cry my eyes out. She just stood and watched for the whole of recess without a single moan or complaint, just to be there for me in case I needed her. This fellow banger girl probably understands my situation at home better than anyone would because she’s got BANGER PARENTS just like mine. She will go through the worst of things for her friends just to be there for them and not once will she complain. A true, loyal, trustworthy friend doesn’t even begin describe her.

I love each and everyone of you, and to see that I’m losing you guys just crushes me. And because its over some stupid boy makes it harder.
Then there are the friends which I haven’t mentioned, but that cause this is a group blog, sorry. But there will be one just for friends in the near future :)

this one's for you

I reckon mobile phones are a nuisance
They should be eaten by gummy monsters
They freaking ring in the middle of class
They have a caller history which your rents go through
They don’t automatically delete messages
You have to BUY credit to make them talk
And they get a stupid virus so you have half the memory on it that your suppose to
But the photos and memories that come with it make it priceless



Someone once said to me that when you fight with your friends
It just means they care about you more than anyone else
Now I see where her logic comes from
I realized that those fights show that they pick up on the changes you’ve made
They care about you not spending so much time with them
They don’t want you getting hurt over and over again
They hate seeing you put yourself through misery and pain
They hate that some stupid boy could come between your friendship



There’s this part of me which I wish I didn’t have
I think everybody has that part to them
Sometimes it’s their nose
Sometimes it’s their bum
Sometimes it’s their family
Sometimes it’s their friends
But I wish I didn’t have my heart
Cause now it’s been stolen by you



Exams are such a pain in the ass
And having to do one that’s two years ahead of you is even more of a piss off
But do you know what made it worth it?
That I got to miss out on Mafouz’s reproduction test
That I didn’t have to go to any classes
That I got to sleep in for 45 minutes
That after hurting my brain for an hour and a half, I got to see you
Got to spend another 40 minutes with you
I got to fall into your arms and just release



Its easy to say sorry
But to mean it, is the real challenge
Sorry gets thrown around every now and then
But how often do you mean it?
How often do you say and it and wish you could take back what you’ve done
Does it mean anything that you hurt their feelings?
Do you really want to take back that moment where you crushed someone?
It’s not easy, but the least you could do is try



I’m fed up of living up to other people’s standards
Why for once cant I do what I want?
Work as hard as I want
Sleep as long as I want
Read as long as I want
Use the net as long as I want
Study as long as I want
Wear what I want
Do what I want
Say what I want
From now on, I’m gonna be what I want

back to the street where we began

“Sex is how I get what I want around here
You have to do it to get somewhere
Everybody I know does it all the time”
That’s the world of a 14 year old model
What a bitch



Theres this territory where no girl should go
Where the paths of innocence and experience collide
Where giving it your all has devastating consequences
When mini skirts and singlets make you a slut
Well don’t be that easy is all I have to say



I met this 21 year old chick
she had no idea what “licking up” meant
she couldn’t say penis or vagina out loud
she wasn’t able to talk about sex or periods
I had to explain to her what oral and certain foreplay were
The furthest this 21 year old had gone was shaking a guys hand
Its not that she was ugly, she was absolutely gorgeous, yet so innocent
I wish I could go back to those days of innocence
Where you were forced to hold a guy’s hand in kindy
Where you had no idea what sex was
Where kissing gave you cooties
Where boys were your worst enemy
Where you didn’t have to dress to impress
I wanna be that girl again, who had no idea about anything
Who could find other things to entertain herself with rather than guys



I could go on forever about this guy I’m madly in love with
But when it comes to writing about my best friends, why am I so speechless?
I just cant find the words to say how much they mean to me
What big a part of my life they’ve become
How I wouldn’t be who I am without their support
That I permanently have a smile on my face cause of them
they’ve supported me through thick and thin
And no matter how stupid my decision, they were by my side
I reckon that’s what all best friends should be like
But mine are always gonna be the best ^^



theres this bear i know
he's 6 foot tall and goes by the name of oscar
he's white like a polar bear
and almost as big
i'll let you in on a secret about him
he gives the world’s best hugs :)



Do you know what’s crazy?
That you love someone no matter how many times they’ve hurt you
But the thing that’s crazier is
That the person who hurt you so many times, loves you just as much



I didn’t know that holding hands could make me feel this way
Just knowing that of all the hands in the world
you chose to wrap your fingers around mine
that feeling when you hold it, I’ve never felt that safe
that feeling when you kiss it, I’ve never felt that loved
that feeling when you don’t, I’ve never felt that alone