you bet i do.

cause now i can no longer turn to you.



you take advantage of the fact,
that i love you beyond the reason why




have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? thats how im feeling and now im left standing here facing the world on my own with nothing but tear-stained mascara and a fake smile.



im not afraid of dying but i'm afraid of losing you.



and its hard to forget someone you know you'll always remember.



why am i still expecting so much when all i've ever gotten is so little.



is it just me or are we drifting apart?



all of us, we're all so miserable. we're all caught up in our own little world, with our own little problems and yet we dont fail to comfort others, to make time for those who need us, even when we're breaking apart. and this compassion, this is what makes us human.



do you think that when we're older we'll have more problems than now?



i have a plan. at the age of 70 i'm gonna go play paint ball and laser tag with my bingo buddies.

oh yeah, i forgot about that.

after reading this i'm pretty sure you're not gonna talk to me again but i have to let it out.



who am i kidding, i'm not over you.

i finally did it and im proud of myself :)

i guess life is too short that's why we gotta jump even if we do fall

"if its a guy that your crying over he's not worth it"
but he is worth it, i know he is.

why is it that i always end up thinking about us again?

its a war of words, death stares and egos

i hear that you talk about me, i just wonder if you think about me too

it hurts when you talk about her, all of the "hers" but i dont think you know it and i'm afraid to tell you to stop in case you stop talking to me altogether.

i'm too scared to think that i fit in cause i'm afraid like the rest of the world i'll be disappointed again.

keeping things close to your chest isn't a bad thing. i do it cause i'm scared that i might say something which will make me lose the little i have left

what happens when the one you love most doesn't love you at all? what happens when the only thing worth fighting for tells you to give up? what happens when i figure out that it'll never be the same again? what happens if i can never find someone like you?

thanks all of you that smiled my way, made me realise i'm not alone

i want to be able to wear short shorts this summer without feeling sefl-conscious, without people telling me i have fat legs, that i have a huge ass and laughing about it




P.S. I LOVE YOU NATALIE WARDLE. lol wardle lol penguin LOL

aye man

i can't be bothered finishing the stuff about my holidays so i shall just vent. no pictures though =\


im sorry i had to block you, i just needed space.

break the ice wont you? if you just said hi i would put the past behind and start again.

i miss seeing you, you made me feel normal. like i fit in.

so i sat there for the first time since we were there and it felt refreshing? i took myself back to the past and just let myself be imersed in the memories and the good times. i want to go back to when i was happy.

well there were these birds right and they fly in that arrow thing shape. there was a whole bunch flying like that and then one that got left behind. it didn't fit in with them or anywhere else and it just followed and tagged along. none of them stopped to help it along or looked back to what happened to it. that's how i feel. i don't fit in and i don't think i ever will.

its ok to cry right?

while i was walking along the road with tears streaming down my face, the sun came out. i looked up and i smiled the most that i had the whole day. sunshine makes me happy.

im falling even more in love with you.

i tried my best, but now i give up. ive done my part to get things back to the way they were.

i don't let you get under my skin and that means i win :]

having people care about you is someething people take for granted. then one day you see that theres no one that would run after you if you walked away. no one to come to you when you're upset. no one to wipe away tears when you're crying. no one that runs upto you when they see you. no one that cares.

uncapped !

well its about time that im uncapped, i had to live with it for three weeks D: i think thats the main reason i haven't blogged cause it was too slow. in other news holidays was meh, going back to school was a bummer annnnd I SAW MOONIRA !

well i'll take you through the events and then the whole philosophical shit. firstly i got a job, yes at my dad/uncles restaurant. i think you should all go eat there since we're not doing very well =/ its at rockdale, 23-25 Frederick Street, like 200 metres from rockdale station. i work there on sundays and some saturdays. the pays really shit, only 8 bucks an hour. ah well atleast im making some money and this means me and jenny can finally go and EAT at gloria jeans rather than just walking past it and wishing we could eat there LOL. me and jenny also have this plan to grow taller :) go ahead laugh, but just you wait til we're taller than you =D we're gonna go hang on the monkey bars at ingleburn library cause its spose to elongate your spine. i also plan on sleeping more cause i need it.

thursday was the last day i went to school. i spent friday with jenny, kinmun, nazmus, nibraas and mel. i saw G as well cause he came for mel ;) well we met at minto station where me and nazmus had to hide our faces cause there were so many curries. and nibraas that dipshit screamed out my name just as my aunty walked past ==" well we went macarthur where we just hung ? we ate some food as well :L it wasnt very eventful apart from the shopping. OHHHH and we went playtime and nibraas owned my ass in ddr :$ we also played this rambo shit where you have to shoot and it was cool. nazmus sucks at it (Y) at that point it was me nibraas and nazmus cause the others had gone off somewhere. then we went and ate some more i think, i dunno. but as the guys left to watch the proposal and mel went to find G, me and jenny went around trying on dresses. after that we talked and we ate again LOL. yeah we went to that cake place at the food court and after giving the lady 5 bucks, she gave us $10 dollars changed AHAHAHAHAHAHA. what a douche. so like out closed weekend routine, me and jenny went to cab to go have happy cup :) on the way we ran into greek bob and roshan. after cab and happy cup me and jenny went home :)

well holidays started off meh. i went out every day in the first week and then on the first sunday my mum grounded me ==" her exact reason was "you're having too much fun" LIKE WTF MAN. i forget what i did on monday, but on tuesday i went and watched transformers and hannah montanna with jenny. AND OMG TRANSFORMERS IS THE BOMB BRO (L) hannah montanna's pretty good, i cried when the boyfriend dumped her, he was really hot +_+ and the skateboarding guy at the beginning that lily liked. i need to remind myself to get zoe to teach me the hannah montanna dance.

wednesday i went to greeks house. that was the day harry potter 6 came out. i had to wake up super early to get to his house cause the last bus was at 9 :( it wasn't too bad though cause i saw ayush and tazman on the way there. i liked what i was wearing as well LOL. it was my "sup" giraffe shirt and high waisted shorts :L so greek being the lazy bum that he was rode a bike to pick me up from leumeah station and made me walk ==" it was very tiring i tell you in the cold. so we got to his place and watched harry potter 5 for the first time. well for me anyway. and it was such a shit movie. some way through his sister joined us. and then for lunch greek and his sister ate three pies each and had noodles :) after that we went to watch lord of the rings, the first one. it was the first time i even tried watching it and i have to admit it wasnt that bad, i actually liked it :L well anywhoos, i got a phone call from my dad telling me he wanted me home by lunch time, which was three-ish cause he didnt know i was at greeks place. he thought i was going for a walk around mac links. anywhoos that was the last time i saw greek during the hols.

thursday i went swimming eventhough it was freezing. i needed to let out my anger :L AND OMG THURSDAY WAS WHEN MOONIRA CAME (L) i forget about thursday cause i was so excited EEEEKKKKK IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. i ate three ice creams leading up to it :L

ok this is the first part, i will do the second part later cause now i have to get ready to go to work :(