for the people that really matter

You know, friends are probably the most important people in your life, next to family, but lately I’ve been a complete bitch and not appreciated, acknowledged, supported or cared for the most significant people of my life. What worse is that it was one of their birthday and I lacked the common sense and heart to even spend recess with her. Call me a dog, bitch, whore, whatever you want, but I probably deserve it. Well now to even begin my apology here’s a blog about each member of my group :) It might not be much but it’s a start (alphabetical order)

Angela: where to even begin with this girl is hard. I didn’t really know her at the beginning of this year, but being in every single one of my classes, (except major) I’ve grown to know her and become so close to her that we practically finish each others sentences. She’s been there for me when I needed her, given me a shoulder to cry on, and what more could you want from a best friend :)

Amanda: she might not look like it, but this girl is so freaking in your face and hardcore that it scares me :L. She’s helped me through tough times even when she was dealing with problems of her own, she’s always made time to listen to me even when I didn’t feel like talking. It’s hard to think that someone I once barely knew or liked, could help me through life the way she has

Emma: this girl man, when I was down she ninja roll/summersault kicked up my hopes and put a smile on my face. She’ll tell me about her love life and I’ll tell her about mine. The stories we exchanged and the pictures that came into my head I’ll never forget. She knows everything without me telling her which makes me think she can read my mind.

Jess: oh boy, you mess with her she’ll kick your balls or hurt you in some way which you will never forget. She’s always got my back threatening to kick, kill, punch, whatever damage I want done :D. She’ll be there for me no matter what, and IPT has brought us closer. She’s seen me at my worst in the mornings when she like lived at my house and goes to North Shore Tutor cause of it, but she still chooses to be my friend.

Lauren: wow is the only word that comes to mind when I think of her. She’s been through the roughest of times and just comes out stronger. The advice she gives is priceless even though I don’t listen to all/any of it. She was always by my side. She was there for me to cry into during digital media even if it her back to crouch under the table. Most of the stuff that comes out of her mouth will make you crack up, even if the jokes are about me. I can’t imagine school without hearing “shut up chickie” come from her mouth.

Rachel: our boob measurements will be a price less moment and I really don’t think I could bare with maths if it wasn’t for her. Two years of being in the same maths class and I still aint sick of her. Our exchange of truths and dares still make me smile when I think about it. I think we know a couple of more measurements besides the ones of our boobs :L I’ve never seen this girl without a smile on her face and I hope that I wont for a while to come. This awesomely hot bitch has always listened to my squealing and tantrums and I hope that she will continue to.

Rosa: ms. Rosie is probably the most unique person I know. She’s been with me since day one and I will never forget that. No matter what, she will be smiling and laughing and turning everything and anything into a happy situation. I have yet to see her fail to put a smile on my face and she will be there to support me and let me cry on her even if she has no idea whats going on with me. I will never forget year 7 & 8 with you and I wish things could go back to that way.

Shailin: last but not least. I owe her so much for being there for me. She stood in the pouring rain just to watch me cry my eyes out. She just stood and watched for the whole of recess without a single moan or complaint, just to be there for me in case I needed her. This fellow banger girl probably understands my situation at home better than anyone would because she’s got BANGER PARENTS just like mine. She will go through the worst of things for her friends just to be there for them and not once will she complain. A true, loyal, trustworthy friend doesn’t even begin describe her.

I love each and everyone of you, and to see that I’m losing you guys just crushes me. And because its over some stupid boy makes it harder.
Then there are the friends which I haven’t mentioned, but that cause this is a group blog, sorry. But there will be one just for friends in the near future :)

this one's for you

I reckon mobile phones are a nuisance
They should be eaten by gummy monsters
They freaking ring in the middle of class
They have a caller history which your rents go through
They don’t automatically delete messages
You have to BUY credit to make them talk
And they get a stupid virus so you have half the memory on it that your suppose to
But the photos and memories that come with it make it priceless



Someone once said to me that when you fight with your friends
It just means they care about you more than anyone else
Now I see where her logic comes from
I realized that those fights show that they pick up on the changes you’ve made
They care about you not spending so much time with them
They don’t want you getting hurt over and over again
They hate seeing you put yourself through misery and pain
They hate that some stupid boy could come between your friendship



There’s this part of me which I wish I didn’t have
I think everybody has that part to them
Sometimes it’s their nose
Sometimes it’s their bum
Sometimes it’s their family
Sometimes it’s their friends
But I wish I didn’t have my heart
Cause now it’s been stolen by you



Exams are such a pain in the ass
And having to do one that’s two years ahead of you is even more of a piss off
But do you know what made it worth it?
That I got to miss out on Mafouz’s reproduction test
That I didn’t have to go to any classes
That I got to sleep in for 45 minutes
That after hurting my brain for an hour and a half, I got to see you
Got to spend another 40 minutes with you
I got to fall into your arms and just release



Its easy to say sorry
But to mean it, is the real challenge
Sorry gets thrown around every now and then
But how often do you mean it?
How often do you say and it and wish you could take back what you’ve done
Does it mean anything that you hurt their feelings?
Do you really want to take back that moment where you crushed someone?
It’s not easy, but the least you could do is try



I’m fed up of living up to other people’s standards
Why for once cant I do what I want?
Work as hard as I want
Sleep as long as I want
Read as long as I want
Use the net as long as I want
Study as long as I want
Wear what I want
Do what I want
Say what I want
From now on, I’m gonna be what I want

back to the street where we began

“Sex is how I get what I want around here
You have to do it to get somewhere
Everybody I know does it all the time”
That’s the world of a 14 year old model
What a bitch



Theres this territory where no girl should go
Where the paths of innocence and experience collide
Where giving it your all has devastating consequences
When mini skirts and singlets make you a slut
Well don’t be that easy is all I have to say



I met this 21 year old chick
she had no idea what “licking up” meant
she couldn’t say penis or vagina out loud
she wasn’t able to talk about sex or periods
I had to explain to her what oral and certain foreplay were
The furthest this 21 year old had gone was shaking a guys hand
Its not that she was ugly, she was absolutely gorgeous, yet so innocent
I wish I could go back to those days of innocence
Where you were forced to hold a guy’s hand in kindy
Where you had no idea what sex was
Where kissing gave you cooties
Where boys were your worst enemy
Where you didn’t have to dress to impress
I wanna be that girl again, who had no idea about anything
Who could find other things to entertain herself with rather than guys



I could go on forever about this guy I’m madly in love with
But when it comes to writing about my best friends, why am I so speechless?
I just cant find the words to say how much they mean to me
What big a part of my life they’ve become
How I wouldn’t be who I am without their support
That I permanently have a smile on my face cause of them
they’ve supported me through thick and thin
And no matter how stupid my decision, they were by my side
I reckon that’s what all best friends should be like
But mine are always gonna be the best ^^



theres this bear i know
he's 6 foot tall and goes by the name of oscar
he's white like a polar bear
and almost as big
i'll let you in on a secret about him
he gives the world’s best hugs :)



Do you know what’s crazy?
That you love someone no matter how many times they’ve hurt you
But the thing that’s crazier is
That the person who hurt you so many times, loves you just as much



I didn’t know that holding hands could make me feel this way
Just knowing that of all the hands in the world
you chose to wrap your fingers around mine
that feeling when you hold it, I’ve never felt that safe
that feeling when you kiss it, I’ve never felt that loved
that feeling when you don’t, I’ve never felt that alone

heres the thing...

i wanna make out with you in the rain
just let the water soak through our clothes
make every part of your body soft and the skin smooth to touch
run my hands through your drenched hair
and let your hands wander
i wanna make out with you in the rain like itll be the last time we'll ever hold each other

dont you ever wonder that you deserve someone better than me? cause i do. u've given all of you into what we have, and i dont think i have. u deserve someone who'll give all of them self into it just like you do. even tho i'd hate to lose you, even tho it would crush me, maybe u do deserve someone better. i wonder if i've given you enough for you to stick around cause i know that theres so much more of me i could give
i'm just afraid that if i do give parts of me to you
i'll lose it forever

that smile of yours i will never forget
that one time where u looked me in the eye
and for the first time i think i could see how much i meant to you
and i realised that without that smile, i wouldnt be able to keep breathing
that if u smiled like that to anyone else i'd be crushed
made me realise that i want to be your one, your only one

javery: chickie, i think i love you, like love love
me: like in love?
javery: yeah
me: dw, i've been in love with you for a while :)
to hear you say those words to me made my heart race
i dont think u'll understand how much it meant to me unless:
you saw me smiling like and idiot by myself as i walked down ingleburn platform
you heard me squel when i told rachel about it
you saw me jump up and down like and lunatic when emma told me more
you really knew why i came up behind you and kissed you on the cheek
you saw me fall asleep with a smile on my face and ur photo next to me

today the world was suppose to end
and i actually wish it had, not cause i'm emo
but cause i would die being the happiest i reckon i will ever be
i would be dying knowing that you love me
knowing that my friends care enough to cry about me
knowing that i wouldnt have to hand in my ipt assignment
knowing that i wudnt be worried sick wondering whats going on in you crerating connections group
but i guess spending one more day with you is worth it
its not as if its gonna kill me :)

thats life for you

they say you look prettier when ur not crying
i think u look beautiful when you are
cause thats when ur soul is released
when everything u've ever felt comes out
and sometimes you cry cause you love someone
i cry cause i love you
and when i saw you cry, i realised how much you love me

lets forget our worries
lets forget the world around us
lets forget that we're only 14
lets drink the night away

booze and drugs never solves anything
sure it may numb your senses
take you to a whole other world
make all your misery and problems dissapear
it may sound good in writing, but waking up the next morning
with no recollection of the night before is terrible
you couldve done anything, couldve done everythin
but you'll never know

everyday starts with the thoughts of you in my head
your face, your smile, your smell
i wake up knowing that you'll be by my side
but after friday should i wake up?
cause knowing ur not with me
knowing that we're not together
knowing that any chick could come along and just take you away
is it worth waking up and putting my heart on the risk?

sometimes things dont always go the way you want

people dont say what u want to hear
your life decides to become a washing machine and turns everything upside down
until the water gets too much for you to handle
and all the other clothes get too close for comfort
the tears just keep flowing
utnil you dont even know it your asleep, dreaming of what couldve been