its you thats got me tripping.

you tell me that i hurt you, but what do you think your doing now? you put me in the middle and tried to make me choose, but in the end you made the decision for me.



he told me his love was mine, but then he gave whats mine away.



im getting closer to finding my place in this hell hole that we call life. i feel happy and its an amazing feeling =D



spotted: chuck bass losing something no one knew he had, his heart. that makes the two of us



when you super glue something to your skin in takes forever to get off and when you do manage to take it off it hurts like hell and leaves a wound which takes forever to heal. i think someone super glued you to my heart.



the most inspiring thing anyone has ever said to me. thank you :]
so my mind is left working overtime 24/7. love. what is love? I believe that a 15 year old girl can experience love. I do. but what you had with him, may very well have been a 15 year old girl desperately reaching out for someone, anyone, to understand her in a world that always leaves us so confused and clueless we all seek clarity. we all seek answers. we all seek a place. we like to know our place and hope to find happiness in our place. he was your place though, I don't know him, he may have abused that to get physical with you. he may have made you believe what you want, just so he could get a bit further. and I have a confession...buttering up girl's hearts is the easiest thing in the world. I have learnt that over the past 2 months. it takes something as simple as hold her hand. walking in front of her. holding her and telling her that everything will be fine. it's sad that girls will rush in. it's funny because deep down, I'm as sensitive as a girl so I understand their longing for their place in life, but guys are not the place to confide in, or hope for answers. we manipulate, we do whatever it takes because we have testosterone raging through our veins and bodies and he ends up thinking for us. the only way you can find true happiness is in accepting who you are and making the most with your life. Chickie spread your wings and fly on your own you are more than capable you can do incredible things with your life...if you believe that you can and that is the hurdle. stop reaching out to guys because you want someone to help you through life your girlfriends can be one of your biggest forms of support and a guy can just use you. live your life don't live out his fantasties because he is good at manipulating. ok? stay strong and be the best Chickie you can be :)



this aint sex, this is a symbol of the true makings of love. i really wish that was the case.



lets give it a go in the back of a car (Y)



i swear there was something in the coke last night cause i haven't felt like that in a long time.

cant figure out what to call this.

you know what keeps me going and keeps me satisfied? the fact that i have the one thing that she never will and have become so much more than they ever had.



i dont need to bitch about you, to make snide remarks on then net, to call you names and its because im bigger than that, i dont need to put you down to make myself feel better.



turn the music down, i want to hear your heartbeat.



if you were gonna chase me, i promise you ill run slow.



i was wondering last night right before i went to sleep what i miss you actually means. seriously, what does it mean. does it mean that your not happy with what you have now and would trade that for what you had before. or when you say it to someone that you want them back. what does it actual mean when you say it?



you know what pisses me off, that ive told you everything about me spilled out my heart, but i still dont know anything about you.


Stranger - Chris August
Stranger, til i hear your laughter
Crazy, cause your all im after
Its a pleasure, it was nice to have met you
Ill remember to never forget youuu
Cause when im excited
I dont hide it
Just to let you know
Im feeling you baby from bottom to the top
How could i not stop to say hello

So hello there
How are you
Amazing
Its nice to finally meet you
Been patiently waiting
Been waiting to just see you
To tell you i dreamed you
And now i found you
So call off the search
Cause i found my stranger



im waiting for my stranger. the guy that will take my breath away, the one thatll sweep me off my feet and take me away to try and finish off my disastrous fairy tale with a happy ending. im waiting for you to come along and take my mind off of him.



fuck man. im watching the "wedding date" and its such a beautiful movie. i cried at the part where she finds out that her ex was cheating on her with her sister. to make things worse she finds out that the people she trusted and loved knew about it and didn't tell her. movies and tv series fail to stop surprising me with how much they can relate to life.



i miss lying down with you. i miss holding your hand. i miss making you smile. i miss being the one that you think about. i miss not missing you.



i look back and it surprises me to see how much things have changed. how much people have changed. how much friendships and relationships change. how much your will power, determination and goals change.



its ironic how:
hello is always followed by goodbye
the good memories always reduce you to tears
forever never seems to last
friends can just leave you when your down
you'll still stick around when their down
when you need someone they're never there
people change and think they're so much better
many lies can be put in one love letter
one moment can cause so much regret



whats harder than loving someone is having the courage to let them love you back


"last night when we were fighting, i thought it was over and i was going to take off and leave you alone. but then i realised that id rather fight with you than make love with anyone else."



how come when the person you
love does something wrong you
never blame them? you forgive
them foolishly each time.



i still cry when i think about what a two-faced bitch you really are and how you pretended as if your cared about me and i fell for it.

rawr.

gossip girl episode 12
snowflake ball

N: did you do that to vanessa ?
J: yeah. you can understand though cant you, she
N: she what ? she lied, she went behind your back ? so what. for that she deserved to be publicly humiliated ? shes your friend jenny


fuck me dead.

Daniel Fernandez Never Again
Baby stop and think about it
Tell me where did we go wrong
How did it end like this
Can we work it out, I doubt it
We did all we could
And baby I can't go on like this
I never did you wrong your trippin'
Listening to your friends and all the bullshit they had to say
It's like they loved you more than I did
So baby roll with' your crew
And do what you gotta' do because

I never wanna kiss you again
Never wanna walk through the park holding your hand
No more talking all night until the early morning
It's such a shame to say that we'll never be the same again
Baby stop and think about it
You lied to me, lied to me
Baby stop and think about it
You lied to me, lied to me

The love we once shared girl no longer
It no longer remains and now it's harder, the pain because
She never really knew she wondered
Was she being untrue or was I being a fool because
I'm gone and I'm never coming home
So baby don't call cause I won't answer the phone
Stay out of my life baby just leave me alone
And it's such a shame to say that we'll never be the same

I never wanna kiss you again
Never wanna walk through the park holding your hand
No more talking all night until the early morning
It's such a shame to say that we'll never be the same... again
Baby stop and think about it
You lied to me, lied to me
Baby stop and think about it
You lied to me, lied to me

Girl you told me you'd be there for me
Promised that you'd never leave
You lied to me
You lied to me, lied to me


i know its talking about a girl but its a song that describes exactly whats going on. the only thing is im not sure of is which one of you im thinking of when i listen to this.

i am so pissed off, i hate you :] if i could i would punch you, the both of you.

its falling into place.

i havent blogged in a while but thats cause i couldnt be bothered. i guess i gotta get it out now :)

i realise now what he gave me that you cant. i realise now why you as my best friend isnt enough. i know now why i loved him.

i realised it today as we went through our normal after school wednesday routine. we sat at the steps waiting for my bus and for the first wednesday ever we didnt really speak to each other, we had an argument. as we sat in silence and my bus came i gave you a kiss on the cheek as usual because i didnt wanna just walk off. so after that i got up and you just sat there. there i was walking away but you didnt stop me. what wouldve happened with him and what i wanted to happen was that when i got up, youd hold my hand and take me back and hug me. then kiss my cheek and tell me it would be alright. i know everyone is thinking wtf, why would you want something like that with your best friend. its cause its normal. thats what usually happened, what it was supposed to be like but i cant figure out why it wasnt like that this time.

now im stuck wondering where we went wrong. not him, me and you. i swear to god we're drifting apart, we're not how we used to be. i dont even remember the last time i spent the night talking to you, or heard your voice over the phone. whats happening? you'll always be first in my world and now that im not first in yours, it doesnt feel the same anymore and i know thats selfish but i cant help it. i feel like its not us anymore, not how we used to be.


so for what its worth i miss us.

its 1.23 am and im supposed to be doing my commerce assignment but instead im watching gossip girl.

s: what i thought it was ok we date other people
d: well you certainly picked a winner
s: well he's fun, non-neurotic i thought would be a nice change
d: thats classy, very nice classy
s: classy? like you asking another girl out on a date our first day back to school
d: we were broken up!
s: so what dan it hurt. what did you expect ? i loved you and just because we broke up doesnt mean i could just turn off like that.
d: maybe we should stay away from each other for a while

that sounds familiar.

no not yet.

i still dont get it. i dont think i ever will, its kind of hard to understand whats wrong but i guess if thats what you want ill have to live with it. its fucked up that im still waiting, i dont even know why. am i waiting for you or am i just waiting for this feeling to go away and trying to hold onto you until it does cause i wouldnt know what to do with myself otherwise. as crazy as it sounds i just want to let you know that yes i would wait forever for you. yes it would drive me insane, kill me inside and out, take over all my thoughts but its true, i willing to do all of that just to have you back. and this is where it gets complicated when i tell you how i feel. now you're just gonna distance yourself from me cause you dont want to get pulled back to where you were before and you might think that staying away from me will help me, that it will be better for me but your wrong. my head tells me that your not worth it, that your like every other guy but my heart wont forget everything we've been through, everything you've done for me.

i still watch you, i still cant help but smile when you get the ball in, i still wonder where you are when i cant see you, i still notice everything you do and i still wish you noticed me.



favourite quote (by aaron) - 2 guns held to my head. I'm holding one, you're holding the other. I'll lower mine when you lower yours.

break even.

i didnt even listen to the song i just read these lyrics and it made me cry. fuck man what am i turning into ?

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break even.

Her best days will be some of my worst,
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first,
While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping,
'Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Coz she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, (One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces, ('Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh.
'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break, no it don't break, no it don't break even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, (One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces, ('Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, It don't break even, no

numnumnum

GAHHHH MOONIRA I LOVE YOU (L)
far out i love you :) ngawwwwwwwwww mannn i love you GAHHHHHH I LOVE YOU XOXOX
tell your rents i said "I LOVE YOU GUYS AND BEST OF LUCK"

things seem up? no they dont. i dont even know. you know how you feel shit and lonely and that no one is there, yeah that feelings follows me around like a dog. i thought i my moods were shit before but its way over board i dont even know whats wrong with me anymore. i have issues >.>
1. i blog too much
2. i cry too much
3. i dont care enough
4. i care too much
5. i need space
6. i still love you
7. i cant scream at you
8. i need a life

thats all i can think of for now, im sure theres more. but slowly yes i think things are getting better it might actually work out by the end of the year if nothing else goes wrong ><" i shall hope for the best.
i only have one mark so far that im proud of btw - maths 30/39
im waiting very very very patiently for science and english.

all of tonight ive been listening to free fallin' by john mayer the live version. theres something about the cheering crowds that makes it freaking awesome. anyone who wants to just escape from this world peacefully for 4 minutes should listen to this. it makes you feel so...amazing i guess.



i wonder if you read this, i hope you do cause everything i dont tell you when we talk cause im afraid of what your reply might be i say here.

hmmm

i watched 3 minutes of the bold and the beautiful today and two chicks said this:
chick one: do you think shes coming onto him?
chick two: in her own way
damn that reminded me so much of several conversations ive had using literally those exact lines. chicks are bitches, whores and backstabbing sluts and we cant deny it, but honestly girlfriend are probably the best things that will happen in our lives and will be by your side forever. sure you might be content with the best of guy friends you have but one point in your life you will realise that you need girlfriends.

Pink - as we are girls, we forgive but we dont forget

gah you piss me off so much. i dont know where you found the nerve to tell me that it is such a piss off! far out, do not bitch about something you always do cause i will blow up if i hear another word about that coming out of your mouth.

ok people i am on a mission, i must find an emoticon that bites. like an angry biting face emoticon that bites. if anyone has one please tell me, i need it !
and hello patrick, i know your reading this :D
bye patrick
i like your stripes (Y)

moderation.

i watched scrubs today and it was the episode where he leaves the hospital and the end of it made me cry. its the "ngawwwww that was so sweet" kinda crying cause he got married to that chick and turk and him stay best friends and they have kids and its all so sweet.

i know somethings up and i really really really wanna ask you whats wrong but i know you wont tell me and i know that it wouldnt help the either of us if i asked. i just want to tell you that im not stupid, i know that when you left last night you actually blocked me, i know you had me blocked most of this long weekend and i know you dont wanna talk to me but i dont know why.

songs ive been listening to this week
back at your door - maroon 5
do right - mario
thank you - j. holiday
his mistakes - usher
beautiful soul - jesse mccartney
turn the page - bobby valentino
lay in my bed - mario
wait for you - elliot yamin



Well how could you let your guard down
And let me impose
We’re dying the further this thing goes
Well can we go back to where we were before
You dropped your heart on my floor
‘Cause it was easiest to hide it all away
And never say what we were thinking
No you’d never catch me blinking that night
‘Cause I was all of yours
But don’t say we became too late
Well I just think you’re humoring yourself
Let me say one more thing before you fly
And this charade is out of sight
I’ve been wrong but now I’m right

i had hope

i honestly thought it was gonna be better this time round but i was wrong as usual. nothing turns out the way i imagined it to be, the way i want it to be or the way its supposed to be. i wonder if you sit there talking to her and ever think about me. tilt your head to the side and think about what i might be doing at that moment. i wonder if you ever feel guilty about what you did to her and me. if when you stare blankly into space the picture of me standing on your toes pops into your head. if theres ever a moment, an impulse or split second you think you might love me, act on it. dont wait cause like the past four times i still wonder if we'll get back together again. ive seen it happen so many times that it doesnt seem so impossible, i still think about it happening. it would be so much easier though if you just crushed my hopes, told me theres no way in hell that it'll happen this time.

fall in line

i was vain enough to think that love didnt hurt. when i first fell in love i didnt know that it could cause me so much pain, i thought it was all smiles and fun. i was so wrong. i dont know why im hurting so much. its not the fact that im in love with you, its the fact that you dont love me back. i remember making a promise that i'd forget about you, that you wouldn't be so much as a thought in my life but i dont think thats happening. now you're all i think about and it sucks cause i dont want to, you're not worth it. i felt so comfortable when i was with you, and when we are together it feels like year 8 again. its just that sometimes i fail to forget the past and thats what brings me to hate myself, more than i hate you. AND GAAH this is what i dont get, how i can hate you so much but i would still give up everything for you. when someone does something terrible to you several times you're spose to hate them and never think about them again other than when your planning your revenge. wrong, not with me. i want you more than ive ever wanted anything before and i love you more than ive loved anyone before. you and her make me jealous, incredibly jealous. everything you guys have is what i want. i dont want it to be awkward, i dont want to remember what we had, i dont want to remember the shit we got ourself into, the stupid things we did. i want to start again but i dont know if your gonna let that happen.

i really want to talk to you, but when it actually comes to the moment, nothing comes out. you were what was on my mind and what we did is what was bothering me. i love you and thats all i can say. i cant say anything else about you except that and i dont why. i dont know how else to describe what i feel for you.




please please please dont do this to me.

young again

when you were younger and your parents fought you could just blame yourself, be good and pretend everything was ok cause you didnt throw a tantrum. but its not so easy anymore now that you understand whats going on. you can't tell yourself that if you do well in your next exam everything will be better, it doesnt work like that. even with music blasting your ears and you stare on blankly ahead you can tell whats going on. the angry hand gestures, the furrowed eyebrows, the big mouthing of words.



these are messages that made me smile like an idiot ^^ and ones that meant alot to me

from S
- hey cheeky lol. hope u enjoyin ur camp :) u know i miss u lol. hope 2 c u wen u get back. L8r tC (K)

--------------------

from J
- Im always thinking about u <3 i love you
- hey babe just letting you know i love you

--------------------

from J2
- i need you :(

--------------------

from A
- Hey...I'm sorry i have to come to you; i have no one else. I'm a wreck, at home alone and I want to punch holes in the walls! I am sick of being so helpless, all i want there's nothing you can do I know, but i like to think there is someone out there that cares about me...

--------------------

from J3
- i love you chickie :) xoxo - j.

--------------------

from J4
- Lolz better come better 2moro! =P I brang 2 chocolates this morning for us but since you dddnt come i ate it ... now i feel like a fatshit

--------------------

from M
- Hey good night, sweet dreamz. I luv u heaps xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

--------------------

from K
- nGawwws i read the blog like 6 times. i dont find it weird i find it sweet. far out i love you
- i love you MORE :) <3 xx P.S. highlight of my day was prolly reading you say you love me :)
- nGawwws farhin, your so sweet, i was reading that for so long and i dont really know what to txt bak, just i really love you :) you made me smile so much, i still am :) haha especially when i have a best friend like you with me. i love you...so much xox P.S you will smile in Three...Two...One

--------------------

from smelly
- P.S i was just thinking about you
- How you're the best thing in my life at the moment. Makes me so happy



p.s i cant believe you blocked me.

at the movies.

why doesnt life ever turn out like the movies? those fairytale endings where they live happily ever after. there was a reason i wanted you to be my guardian fairy, i was hoping that slowly youd become part of my fairytale. you are perfect to me, every aspect of you, nothing about you phases me. your past, your present, your voice, your body, your touch, your smell and especially your smile.

I know it's easier to just let go
And I'm about to save some times for a second
But only for one second
Cause I mean it later
I think about my life without you baby
And I, start to get shivers all up and down my spine
The thought of you leaving makes me lose my mind
I know the road can get rough
But we just stick together because we both need love

Don't give up cause it's getting a little crazy
We can make it if you trust in us baby
We gotta fight for it
We gotta wanna die for it
You and me together
Forever and ever
Don't give up cause if it's you and me against the world
Then I'd rather be with you

i let it slip ..

i made myself believe that as long there was a kiss, it wasnt gonna be our last kiss. thats over now cause it was a kiss on the cheek. i've let my chance slip away and i dont think it'll come back, i'll have to wait and see.


i was watching this movie today where the guy just sleeps around with these women and still doesnt fall in love with any of them. i'm wondering how its possible to have sex with someone, something so intimate, and walk away without any feelings. fuck man, why do people do that? how can you walk away from someone thats in love with you after leading them on day after day after day.



everything you did, someone else did better, did what i expected and what i wanted. it really made me realise that you dont love me anymore, you honestly dont have any feelings left and it hit me hard. im 99% sure that you dont have feelings for me but im gonna hang on cause its the 1% that keeps me hoping. i was wondering about what was going through your head during that time and if you actually ever wanted a 10, or was it purely for your own pleasure.


fuck man, what did i get myself into this time, i dont think it was worth it.


i want to be that girl. you know the one he's afraid to live without. the one he will always chase after afraid of losing them. i want to be the one you come to get laughs out of, to smile with, to cry on, to sleep on, just to be the chick you come to when you need anything at all :]


hey greek, keep me safe.
and your guardian angel duty day has been reallocated from tuesday to friday =D

thank you.

it was the weirdest sensation when a complete stranger in a crowd of hundreds picked me out and told me to smile. so thank you ali, you of all people was the first to notice that i was down and that was just after you glanced at me once. you told me to cheer up cause i looked too emo and you just saying that made me smile, i finally realised that i wasnt invisible that even though you might not know me, or care about me you noticed me there in a crowd so packed and was kind enough to say something :]

THANK YOU OSMOND FOR BEING SO AMUSING IN HISTORY LOL (L). you could turn half of angela's speech into four minutes =P. ipt was good today, i finally was "reunited". you made me feel as though i was wanted as well and it was a pretty amazing feeling. you asked questions about how i was feeling and didnt just talk about yourself like alot of others with complete ignorance to my feelings :) i didnt realise how caring you were until today and how much i actually missed talking to you. hope you get better and ill put in more pictures next time :P :D

i like this blogging thing, its so much fun :)

closer.

i honestly tried my best. i did all i could think of to get things back on track but you seemed to avoid all my efforts. i dont understand why you continue you ignore me and i'm always the one trying to make conversation. i kinda put things in perspective now and i'm no longer gonna embarrass myself and put in so much effort to get back someone who doesnt care. i know you'll be pissed after reading this, i know you're gonna hate me even more but its how i feel, i want to let you know that i was trying. i dont know whether or not you care any longer if we have a friendship but i do/did.

the next song i dedicate to you moonira (although some parts are a bit sexual, you'll get the main jist of it =P) totally love you (L)

Missin' You - Trey Songz
I can't stop missing you.
Wish I was there with you.
I can't stop missing you.
No, no, no, no.
I can't stop missing you (no).
Wish I was there with you (with you).
I can't stop missing you.
No, no, no, no.

I miss the way you kiss,
miss the way you wear them heels and make it switch.
Miss the way your hair blows in the wind.
And I miss you staying here 'til the morning,
Miss the way you put on your makeup.
Miss the way you love me too much.
It's everything about you baby.
Wanna know where you been lately.
Do you go out?
Do you still live at your old house?
Do you got somebody new in your life?
'cause I can't get you out of my mind.

And I wanna erase,
but I can't stop seein' your face.
And every girl I try to replace you with.
Why can't I get over it?
Simply cause I can't...

I can't stop missing you (can't stop).
Wish I was there with you (with you).
I can't stop missing you.
No, no, no, no.
I can't stop missing you (can't stop).
Wish I was there with you (with you).
I can't stop missing you.
No, no, no, no.
I can't stop...

missing everything you say,
missing all the crazy love we made.
Why'd you throw it all away?
I want you to know
It's been hell tryna do this without you here.
Baby, '07's supposed to be our year.
You confront my worst fears.
And I had my doubts,
every time you was going out.
'cause I knew you were telling me lies
and I can't get that outta my mind.

Wish I Could wake up and forget about you.
Not try
to call you when I know I want to
(Oh Wish I)
I gotta fight this feeling.
(Wish I)
Can't let it take over me.
(Wish I)
You just don't understand how much you were a part of me.

I can't stop missing you.
Wish I was there with you (with you).
I can't stop missing you.
No, no, no, no.
I can't stop missing you (can't stop).
Wish I was there with you (with you).
I can't stop missing you.
No, no, no, no (I can't stop, I can't stop missing you).

i'm back into music now as my escape. there was a period of time like these past few weeks where i barely listened to music and now im absolutely dependant on it again. since monday night i feel as though i'm incomplete without my music and now i like to express how i feel through songs, its so much easier. it amazing thinking that thoughts so simple could be expressed with such melody and detail. it's good knowing that you're not alone with these feelings, that others can feel like this too.


the bench is still there where we left it, thought you should know.

fuck man.

what is wrong with me? why am i sitting here crying about you? i love you, thats why. i really want it to be us again, just the two of us. one year man, its not what i thought it would have been, it was so much better. i remember when it was the other way around, now the tables have turned and im sitting here wondering what the fuck i'm supposed to do. why cant we be friends? why goddamit. thats what i regret most, why we cant still be friends, its what i want most of all; a friendship. now i wonder whether or not you really care about me, if you would do what i'd do for you. please dont tell me its too late, cause it's never too late. better late than never. never isn't an option, i dont want it to be an option. one day man, one day. its not over yet cause i haven't given up, im not going to give up. i cant forget everything that's happened, i dont want to, i want all of what we're going through now to be worth it. i cant say anymore that i want you to be happy no matter who you're with, i cant say that anymore cause its not true. right now i feel as though i could wait forever for you, it doesnt seem so impossible. i never thought i could feel like this about anyone and its for someone whos broken me down into several shattered pieces. you'll always be a part of my heart, you know that.
but when you told me how ever long ago it was that i'll always be a part of yours, im wondering if it still applys.

theres the two of us left behind now and i know its war, let the nuclear bombs drop

if you are reading this please say something to me, anything at all. i need to know what you think, how you're feeling.

pieces of me

i love this song by ashlee simpson (L)

On a Monday I am waiting
Tuesday, I am fading
And by Wednesday I can't sleep
Then the phone rings, I hear you
And the darkness is a clear view
Cause you’ve come to rescue me

Fall, with you I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath
I hope it last

Ohhhh
It seems like I can finally
Rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhh
It's as if you know me better
Than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody and messy
I get restless and it's senseless
How you never seem to care

When I'm angry you listen
Make me happy it's your mission
And you won't stop till I'm there

Fall, sometimes I fall so fast
When I hit that bottom crash
You're all I have

Ohhhh
It seems like I can finally
Rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhh
It's as if you know me better
Than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

How do you know
Everything I'm about to say
Am I that obvious
And if it's written on my face
I hope it never goes away
Yeah

On a Monday I am waiting
And by Tuesday I am fading
Into your arms
So I can breathe

Ohhhh
It seems like I can finally
Rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhh
It's as if you know me better
Than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
Ohhhh
I love how you can tell
Ohhhh
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the Pieces, pieces, pieces of me


i dont know whats going on, why i'm feeling like this. i hate it how you were right greek and i look back and i'm wondering if it was worth it. i know it was wrong to do but i still went through with it and now i feel so low. i hate how that even after what i found out i still didnt say anything, i was stupid enough to fall back into your arms. i hate how i have no control over my feelings for you, its not fair how you can stop yours but i cant stop mine. ill let you in on secret, my heart did beat faster every time you said something but i didnt want to give you the satisfaction of making me feel like that. i thought about it long and hard, cried over it for hours and i still dont know what to do. its hard for me yeah cause i see you everyday and i will keep seeing you for the next few weeks, i never actually got the chance to get over you because out of sight out of mind doesnt work, you're always there.

i think me and you are playing a game, trying to see which one wins but believe me, its not getting to me but i know for sure that its gonna piss you off. wait a little longer and i'll show you my victory :]

it was an interesting morning, the trains were delayed by half an hour and the train i got on, IT DIDNT STOP AT GLENFIELD :O i was so shocked bro so i had to go to holsworthy with G, maruf, mahadi and ahmed. we got off at holsworthy and then i got them to catch the train back to glenfield with me so it was alright :D AND G YOU BETTER NOT GET MORE THAN 6 DAYS SUSPENSION !

p.s. thanks for the arvo shae and rach, awesome time (Y)
p.p.s. SHAVE ON MONDAY NIGHT GREEK

taxed off amy's blog

i got really bored and pissed, i had nothing better to do



Ever felt like you're not good enough?
especially today

Has anyone upset you in the last week?
yeps

Do you miss anyone?
definitely; every minute

Do you think two people can last forever?
not without alot of heartache

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment?
i am terrible at receiving compliments

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile?
mhmmm

When was the last time you were unhappy with your life?
right now

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?
living in hell would be easier

Is there a time you would like to put on repeat, and live it forever?
exactly one year ago

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
running through my mind right now :P

Are you cheating on someone right now?
nopes

Anyone of the opposite sex been on your mind lately?
mhmmm

When is the next time you'll hug someone?
tomorrow morning

Are you nice to everyone?
im a chick, what do you think ?

Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friends?
oh yeaaah ;P

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
couple of peeps. you know who you are.

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
several things

Did your parents spoil you as a child?
i dont really remember....

What do you feel weird without?
my eyebrows

Do you brush your hair with a comb or a brush?
both.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
4-5 hours

Do you like funny people or serious people?
funny people, they're funny :L

What are you listening to?
nothing

Are you wearing any make up right now?
nahhh

What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
dont ever wanna go through that again

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
YES ehehehe its so much fun :L

What is your biggest regret?
secret :]

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
rajeev

Have you ever cried from being so mad?
mhmmmmm

Do you have trust issues?
yeah

Expecting something to change in the next month?
praying for it to change actually

What is the most difficult thing you've ever had to overcome?
love

Are you an argumentative person?
i hate being wrong :P

Have you talked about marriage with another person?
yeah bro, those were the days :L

Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you badly?
yes >>

Do you believe exes can be friends?
quote lizzie's blog "ex lovers can only be friends if they're still in love or never were"
i strongly believe in that.




I LOVE YOU MOONIRA. BEST CHICK IN THE WORLD BABY (L)
pep talk me again :D

not even in the slightest

its a game now, so lets play. game on bitch.





fuck yeah it hurt, it killed bro, i was dying inside and breaking on the outside. you dont get it do you, you never did, you still dont and i dont think you ever will. when you do think though that you got it, please let me know i want to congratulate you cause after a whole year of trying, another lucky chick got it through to you.




its like jenga. one block out of place and it all comes crashing down. damn, my life must be several jenga towers cause it all collapses down one by one and i dont get a chance to build it back up. well its getting better now, its not as bad. everything's slowly making its way back.




remember that feeling? that took over your senses. all you could smell, see, feel, hear and touch was them. i miss that feeling, being overwhelmed by someone elses emotions and body.




i loved it how i was your world. i hate it now cause with everyone in my life i come second, even if they're first to me, i'll be coming second. i want to be number one to someone, someone who will drop everything they're doing because i needed something. i want to be someone's world, no i want to be YOUR world.




please dont take away anymore from me than you already have.




it was our day
it was my best friend
it was the only night i was looking forward to




i dont remember how in love i was until i fell out of it. i read my past blogs and i was so in love, i was so happy and my life seemed so....perfect. you made me so happy and so on top of the world, i know it sounds cliche but its true. thats what i felt like and now im in the pits.




how can you keep doing this over and over again? dont you get tired breaking promises, crushing my hopes and putting me in misery? i dont get why I still put faith and hope in you when i know its just useless and lining me up for another disappointment.




you keep shooting me down but i refuse to stay down. everytime the gun fires and i fall to the ground i get back up steadying myself for the next fire. you fail to miss and i fail to not trust you to put the gun down and come over to heal my wounds.
you will always be a part of my heart, so unless you try otherwise you can't put it back together.




i keep waiting and i dont even know why.




you make me happy but you dont seem to notice. i dont think you see how much you mean to me in my life or how much i try to keep you happy, to keep you around in my life. i try my best to please you, to be there for you, to listen to all your heart ache, to all you joy even if its crushing me. i know that you're looking out for me, that you dont want me to get hurt but please just let me be free and do what means most to me. all i can ask from you as my best friend is please dont be pissed at me and just be there for me when i get screwed over, your a guy dont you understand that your species will always be making me unhappy ?




why do i feel as though we're drifting apart?




i'd stay up every night until 230 to teach you science just so it meant that i spent another night webcamming with you.





thank you furry, i couldnt have gotten through today without you, you made it awesome (H). i shall be stalking you now :D


thank you the rest of you that put a smile on my face :] especially shae crawling through the cat flap LOL