its falling into place.

i havent blogged in a while but thats cause i couldnt be bothered. i guess i gotta get it out now :)

i realise now what he gave me that you cant. i realise now why you as my best friend isnt enough. i know now why i loved him.

i realised it today as we went through our normal after school wednesday routine. we sat at the steps waiting for my bus and for the first wednesday ever we didnt really speak to each other, we had an argument. as we sat in silence and my bus came i gave you a kiss on the cheek as usual because i didnt wanna just walk off. so after that i got up and you just sat there. there i was walking away but you didnt stop me. what wouldve happened with him and what i wanted to happen was that when i got up, youd hold my hand and take me back and hug me. then kiss my cheek and tell me it would be alright. i know everyone is thinking wtf, why would you want something like that with your best friend. its cause its normal. thats what usually happened, what it was supposed to be like but i cant figure out why it wasnt like that this time.

now im stuck wondering where we went wrong. not him, me and you. i swear to god we're drifting apart, we're not how we used to be. i dont even remember the last time i spent the night talking to you, or heard your voice over the phone. whats happening? you'll always be first in my world and now that im not first in yours, it doesnt feel the same anymore and i know thats selfish but i cant help it. i feel like its not us anymore, not how we used to be.


so for what its worth i miss us.