i had hope

i honestly thought it was gonna be better this time round but i was wrong as usual. nothing turns out the way i imagined it to be, the way i want it to be or the way its supposed to be. i wonder if you sit there talking to her and ever think about me. tilt your head to the side and think about what i might be doing at that moment. i wonder if you ever feel guilty about what you did to her and me. if when you stare blankly into space the picture of me standing on your toes pops into your head. if theres ever a moment, an impulse or split second you think you might love me, act on it. dont wait cause like the past four times i still wonder if we'll get back together again. ive seen it happen so many times that it doesnt seem so impossible, i still think about it happening. it would be so much easier though if you just crushed my hopes, told me theres no way in hell that it'll happen this time.