imma blog.

im actually gonna blog for the first time in ageeeeeees and its cause i havent felt this shit in so long. its been getting worse these holidays but now im just low low low low in the dumps and i cant figure out why. nothing makes me happy, no one that i talk to makes me happy even if it seems like im enjoying the conversation.

so the other day i was wondering why i wrote my feelings down on my blog for the whole world to see instead of keeping a diary. at first i thought i was an attention seeking bitch then the more i thought i about it i figured it out. its cause a) i want to feel like im talking to someone and someone might read this and i have a hope they feel the same way and b) i could never be fucked writing so "nicely" in my diary.

and what happens when you cant even turn to your best friend. i dont remember the last time i felt so alone.

not celebrating my 16th but i have a list of pressies i want:
01. glee albums volume one thanks to shariqa volume two
02. 2010 mens cricket calender thanks to nibs :)
03. all the seasons of monk
04. lots and lots of make up and SUMMER clothes :)
05. watch a movie in gold class
06. sexy underwear and shoes (Y)
07. a UNITARD, like the ones in single ladieeees :D
08. roses and a real date for valentines day thanks to greek
09. something to fight for
10. but most of all, i want a suprise