imma blog.

im actually gonna blog for the first time in ageeeeeees and its cause i havent felt this shit in so long. its been getting worse these holidays but now im just low low low low in the dumps and i cant figure out why. nothing makes me happy, no one that i talk to makes me happy even if it seems like im enjoying the conversation.

so the other day i was wondering why i wrote my feelings down on my blog for the whole world to see instead of keeping a diary. at first i thought i was an attention seeking bitch then the more i thought i about it i figured it out. its cause a) i want to feel like im talking to someone and someone might read this and i have a hope they feel the same way and b) i could never be fucked writing so "nicely" in my diary.

and what happens when you cant even turn to your best friend. i dont remember the last time i felt so alone.

not celebrating my 16th but i have a list of pressies i want:
01. glee albums volume one thanks to shariqa volume two
02. 2010 mens cricket calender thanks to nibs :)
03. all the seasons of monk
04. lots and lots of make up and SUMMER clothes :)
05. watch a movie in gold class
06. sexy underwear and shoes (Y)
07. a UNITARD, like the ones in single ladieeees :D
08. roses and a real date for valentines day thanks to greek
09. something to fight for
10. but most of all, i want a suprise

ok so i cant be bothered waiting at this slow pace of sales LOL and there is no bidding, everything is selling for $3 and no closing date until further notice :)

that means
item 8, belt - sold to karen
item 2, drees - sold to jenny

:)

THREE DOLLAR SALE !

all clothes on sale have a starting bid of $3 and buy now price of $5.
all accesories on sale have a starting bid of $3.
leave a comment with your name, item number and price you would like to purchase it at.

closing date is when school starts :)


ITEM ONE - BACK UP FOR SALE
red dress with pockets



Tightrope
Size 10
Worn twice



ITEM TWO - SOLD TO JENNY
black and white dress with embroidery

ITEM THREE - SOLD TO NATALIE
v-neck purple floral dress


ITEM FOUR
pretty yellow and black dress

Tightrope
Size 8
Worn twice



ITEM FIVE
rainbow singlet

Target
Size 12
Worn once



ITEM SIX
purple dress/top (depending on how long you wear it) with a bow

Tightrope
Size 8
Worn a few times



ITEM SEVEN
yellw and pink round neck shirt with asian-ish design




Size small
Still tagged and never worn
$3 for EACH starting bid



ITEM EIGHT - SOLD TO KAREN
brown studded belt


worn a few times



ITEM NINE
green bow and ball necklace and earring set


never been worn



ITEM TEN
3 sets of earrings - orange heart+bow, pink smiley face and big brown dangling ones


worn once



ITEM ELEVEN
rainbow necklace with rainbow stones


worn a couple of times



ITEM TWELVE
pretty stone necklace with dangly earrings

never been worn



ITEM THIRTEEN
3 bracelets - green bead bangle, black and white shiny stone and black and white shiny beads

worn a couple of times



ITEM FOURTEEN
pretty compact mirror

dont think i've ever used it cause i cant figure out how to open it :$

its time to blog.

When you tell me you love me i cant help but not believ you. i always think you say i love you to me while thinking about her. Just to let you know, when i tell you i love you, i mean it. i'm only thinking of you when i say it, no one else. And as hard as you may find to believe it, you weren't just another guy - you are everything.



I wish i had all those friends your always talking about. I dont think anyone understands what its like to not fit in, being able to go anywhere and not worrying of not having anyone to be with. Then theres the friends which you go everytwhere with and all those thing your always invited to. So i look on and watch at how you know everyone and everyone knows you and as you walked past a smile or word is exchanged. So i get im not funny or that interesting but i dont get why im still that no-one.

times are changing.

we have drifted ..... alot. you said you wouldnt let it happen, but you have. i tried you know. i would try and make conversation at school, on msn but you just didnt make an effort. it was all i could do and now im kind of fed up/pissed. your turn to try now and if you make no effort then i guess ....
at one point it was just you and me, all day long everyday. i remember i'd wake up every weekend and there would be a text from you on my phone. i guess we're past that point now. i just needed to say something and i dont know if you'll read this but thought i'd let you know how i feel.

this is not to get confused, this ones for you

natalie baby :)

Baby, you my everything, you all I ever wanted
We can do it real big, bigger than you ever done it
You be up on everything, other hoes ain't never on it
I want this forever, I swear I can spend whatever on it

Cause she hold me down every time I hit her up
When I get right I promise that we gonna live it up
She make me beg for it till she give it up
And I say the same thing every single time
I say you the fucking best, you the fucking best

so all these guys thats screwed you over, obviously its because they dont realise what their missing out on. i spend almost every lesson with you and believe me you are the best natalie wardle. you dont need no dickface to tell you you're beautiful i do that already :) he can go die in a whole like a lonely bastard cause nobody will get with the stooge after he's failed to commitment so many times, you deserve the BEST (L)


omg natalie just look at the chick in the background, does that look like jayson with a wig or what ?

honey you need one of these, cause none of them came even close.

you're getting more beautiful every single day :)

here goes.

anonymous says (5:45 PM):
*yes, y do i still love him
- chickie; get our sex on says (5:46 PM):
*cause he was the only one that you made you feel like he was treating you right
*and you had sex with him
*sex is a big thing
*it makes an emotional connection when it happens with non-slutty chicks
*and you dont forget it easily
*its not him that you miss, its all the memories that you had with him
*and memories will only be memories unfortunately
anonymous says (5:47 PM):
*y are u so smart...
- chickie; get our sex on says (5:47 PM):
*cause i went through a year of it with :)